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|Tuesday, June 10th, 2008|
what can I say guess I really am not that much of a writer well I did promise to write something.
not sure if anyone will read this.
So I found out that I will not be able to become a priest. the Bishop has said that I have had to much happen to me on a mental scale. He wants me to take some time and see how I feel in a year.
Seems strange having you dreams crushed. Current Mood: crying
|Sunday, June 1st, 2008|
Well I guess I'll say hi, and hope some one reads this.
wonder how many friends will actually post something. So what have I been up to.
A lot has happen and I think I will post about it at a later date.
But for now I think I will say hello to everyone again and hope FOR the future.
|Wednesday, December 12th, 2007|
Well looks like this will be my last entry. I really don't ever post anything here. Things in my life have change, some good some bad. but time to go bye to anyone that reads this. which I doubt there are many, and that is they way it needs to be.
|Monday, October 29th, 2007|
Well it has been quite awhile. So what is new, I'll be done will my college soon. I have one more week left. Then I get two months off, and back to college.
But on a more serious not. what the hell is going on. Just feels weird lately. Could be my blood pressure messing things up again.
So what have I been up. well been singing in a band again. Just singing with some people from the neighborhood.
But not everything has been good. Man I am a pain in the ass. So went to a party last night, met some nice people.
Happen to be invited by a fellow coworker of mine. It was fun, danced with a Jena. she is nice but seems not really my type. Hell my friend Christine starts to tell me that she is in love with me. But I don't go out with married women.
But over all I am happy with my live. There are little things that I want to change, but that takes time.
Talking about time, I fee lout place in this world. I feel that I should have been born in the around 15 century. There are times that I, not alone or that I am unwelcome. But it just seems like you ca sense a person's soul. their spirit, I feel like some many are small. I do not mean it as they are shallow or as an insult. But small cause they are just starting to walk do a path. Like they have just started having the bulb turn on.
Guess I'll have to try and see. Not that anyone will read this. But I'm doing this for my own choice. But if someone does, well I hope your are entertain, and enjoy the read.
|Tuesday, July 31st, 2007|
so I had two more test today. Some moe blood work done. I also had another CT scan. I'll know more tomorrow.
God I'm nervous. The doctors told me that the need for surgery might have to come
so they want me to go to see a counselor guess its for the best. I hope and pray.
|Wednesday, July 25th, 2007|
So I got news this week. I had a doctors appointment. Monica, that my doc, said that everything is fine but for a tumor that they found in my liver. She isn't sure what to make of it. I also have one in my third lobe of my right lung.
this seems not to be a big deal since about 20% of people in the world have such tumors. The only thing that has concern is they are both about the size of a half dollar. So they plan to cut me open and extract some tissue. I hope it isn't serious.
If it is bad news I have been told the it might be the cause of all my heart problems. nothing else new other than I have enjoyed my life for the most part. I newly single, I forgot how it was to go out and be able to talk with people.
But I have been thinking about something for quit awhile.
Before I dated Lexy, which was about 1 and half years ago. I have started going to seminary Which is schooling for becoming a priest. At the time I took some advice, and took a break. I was told to go out and live life for awhile and maybe find someone. give some time and after see if I could live without any of the things people take for granted.
So I think I will take about another month and reenter schooling.
I believe this might be the right course for my life. I have always wanted to touch others in positive ways. I have been told by many that I would make a good teacher.
My hope is to become a priest and do work helping those that need it. mostly the poor. Maybe I'll even be able to go to a third world country.
Well that is it for now. See you all after surgery.
|Tuesday, July 17th, 2007|
So I'm confused, semes some of my friends are telling me to go after her. But I have one who says to leave it be. I lost a part of me wants to be with her. But what if she doesn't want be back. Guess I'll call her.
|Sunday, July 15th, 2007|
So I just wanted to let everyone know. That as of Saturday, I am single again. Lexy decided to end our realtionship do to her moving to NYC. I'm not angry at her, nor do I blame her. I hope she is happy and her life goes how she wants it. I will miss her very much Well sorry for such a small post, but I'm alittle lost for words. Man I can't stop theres tears. Guess it will go away in time.
|Thursday, June 28th, 2007|
So I'm not doing so well. I have been in the hospitalfive times within the last two months. do to high blood pressure. For some reason it keeps going up. So I tell you when my pressure os to high I don't feel well at all. So I have missed alot of work. Seem I'll get a nice long weekend. i ALSO HAVE take a break some school.
so I hope everything gets better. I have been having alot of chest pains. But I'm ok I have yet to have a heart attack. the worste case possible is I might have to hhave open heart surgery. Well if I do, guess I'll see you will come and visit me in the hosiptal.
But everythnig else is good. I just need to get out. but I'm not able to drive that much. I don't want to have a blackout.
so wish me luck.
|Sunday, June 3rd, 2007|
so who is everyone. So this pat few months has been....interesting. I came to a realization that I really dislike having to write papers for college, and I am not that good at it. I know everyone says well I'll help you, but seems kind of hard when everyone is busy. So I try and do my best. I have been asked so many times from my professors and other peer tutors. "didn't you learn how to do a paper in high school?" and my answer is no.
But enough of bitching about the past. So I went into the hospital again. more problems with my heart. Seem I have a hole in the top two chambers. But the doctors say ?I won't need surguery, well not till I'm older. but it does look light I'll be on some kind of drugs for the rest of my life.
OH, my sister boy got marriage a few weks ago I have uploaded some picture from it.
I had a few taken with lexy, well I tihkn we make cute,, and most people at the weeding said they could see that we were both every miuch in love with each other, well thats all for now. See everyone later bye
|Tuesday, May 8th, 2007|
So I have decided to stat in the class for this semester. not sure how I'm going to do but I figure if I show up every time and do all the work I should at least get a c and that is a passing grade with credit. So wish me luck. I just hope I can get some help with tutoring
other thant that I might have to take a drug test at work. I have been getting bloody nose a lot lately. Just to dry for me and since doing some drugs can give you a nose bleed they want me to get tested. But I have nothing to fear. I'm not on any kind of drugs.
So the major thing that has given me a lot of fear is this new class. Everyone will say that you can do it, but I know in the past I've tried new things only to fail and fail bad. With school thought it will cost me $800.00 a pop. But here goes for the best.
I hope the future get better soon. Well come the fall I won't see lexi so much and I might have more money.
|Sunday, May 6th, 2007|
so how is eveyone doing I'm fine. Though I do wonder if anyone actually reads my post anymore. But I won't colpain I don't most all that much. So I'm going good.
I'n still with lexy thing have been hard we really haven't seen each other for over a month.
But I know that things in the future will hopfully be better.
I fee; at times that I really don't have and skills, other than to be a pain in the ass,
So I guess for now I'll just keep at it and get my assocaites degree then continue for my ba But thing will get better I just need to hold onto hope. so see anyone who reads this later bye for now
|Sunday, April 8th, 2007|
I know been awhile since my last post. so what has happened. Well Lexi my girlfriend was able to get into the college she wanted. I'm very happy for her, it just the its in NYC. Which is about a 5 hour drive from where I live, that about 200 miles.
I did use the l word , yes I told her that I love and am in love with her. I figured that after a year together I should say it. she seems to enjoy the fact that I'm emotional.
But most things are going good. I took a couple of art classes and they are a lot of fun. but I have decided to continue with school to get a degree in physics so I can teach it.
the only problem I have is a soon to be ex friend is going through a very bad break up with his ex and this all kind of started cause he sleep with someone. I just wonder if I'll be able to still speak with him.
Other than that I'm doing good.
Well one other thing. I'm what people cal a gamer, yes I'm a geek I like to play games such as dnd I tend to run this game for kids, but since the place I went to is out of business. So I'm trying to run a game for my friends but I seem to have writes block. I really don't know what to do right now. Guess I'll just enjoy life and take it one day at a time.
well that is all for now.
|Wednesday, January 24th, 2007|
so I have taken a drawing class this time. It's call the fundamentals of drawing. Just a start so I've have kinda of finished my first drawing. it was an exercise on shapes and shading. sorry I don't have a picture of it. But I'll try to get on.
If anyone wants to see it but it might take a while. Current Mood: sleepy
|Thursday, January 18th, 2007|
|I am really scared how people can sned you things in an email
I got this link in and email
I can't beleive a site like this is around. Granted I was a neonazi. But I was never this bad,
This site isb so ignorant. It has a section on false beliefs in it is Catholic, certsin Jewish , buhhdaism
Now I will give that I do play dnd and many people think that it is bad. I have always gotten that I might be evil. But this site is way extreme.
when you lok at the music part Says that the beatles are also evil. and the Rap , rock , and country are all do to Satan.
you know I sometimes wonder if these type of people would be offend by a simple ad of a soft drink ad the wanted to teach the world to sing
and spread joy and happiness
that and old joke ad that came around in the late 70. If anyone who read this to young to know what i'm talking about. not that wasn't ment t be ofensive.
I am think that it;s people like this that are destorying this world.
I can only do my part and hope that I'll be able to cahnge people hearts and open ther minds.
god now I can't go to sleep i'm so pissed
|Tuesday, January 16th, 2007|
so finally I post something on my journal. I know its been awhile, so lets start with the big stuff. I was in the hospital about two weeks ago. I have gotten really sick, and my blood pressure had dropped to 709 over 42. Which is very low, it should be about 175 over 86.
This all came about do to a hole in my heart. Yes I have a opening n the two lower chamber. but i'll be fine I just have to take aspirin once a day for the rest of my live.
so christmas was quiet for me. New years I ended up going to friend party. I took two of my friends with me. and ask them both that if they drink to have some control. Well one didn't and that wasn't good. So I have decided not to really see her anymore.
don't worry this was a friend. Not my girlfriend, me and Lexxi are still together. she keeps driving me mad. Hell we have been spending a lot of time with each other. She has even been giving me affection, like putting her head on my shoulder and wanting ti cuddle, what is wrong with her. she never used to act like this. she even has started being nice. please and some girl explain to me what is going on.
I'm starting ti think that she is an evil alien clone trying to take over the world. My Lexxi is never nice to me, I'm getting a little scared, (I am writing this cause she will most likely read it need to tease sometime)
So I think that about it for now sorry about the long wait. hope everyone is ok, god i'm so horny now.
Well time ti go and cut off my antlers. Bye
|Tuesday, November 21st, 2006|
So my birthday is tomorrow and Lexy decided to. through me a surpise party. She did surpise me very much, it was nice I'm not use to someone pulling one over my eyes. she had a few friends over. which was alot fun. so we ended up play some games and just hanging out. Everyone seemed to have alot of fun. I know I did. Lexy and I spend sometime ths weekend up norht at a friends house, Wess through a party for me him and Levi since all our birthdays are within a week of each other.
So that all for now everything seems tobe going good.
But I can't see what the future hold so we'll see what happens.
|Saturday, October 28th, 2006|
Well sometimes I wonder. Seems that people often assume everyone that enters a room, there is some knowledge of what it going on.
So my grand mom came out of the hospital this week. Seems she has had blood when she goes to the bathroom. So the only way to help with the problem is surgery. Which she won't could through. so I will honor her choice.
I had a tour of The New Hampshire Institute of ARt and Science. It's a good school. I know I could get in, just need to get a portfolio interview. But I need a portfolio first for that. I'm hoping to take with a student that I know is going there. I also have to see if they offer night class.
I know that if I get an interview, I can get in! I just need to to be able to speak with them and talk about my past a little.
SO me Lexy went to a wedding last weekend. My Diana, it was fun, we danced with each other a lot. She didn't stop smiling for most of the night.
but I'm not sure about my feelings right now. I wonder about my future, I pretty sure I'll know where I'll be. But if it is I have to remember that there is cause I found something. I'll have to give up a lot.
It's been on my mind for as few years.
But I should be thinking of my grandma.
I just wonder about women. It seems they sometimes had a hard time talking about there feelings. If something is wrong, why not talk about it with people that care for you. IF you have a problem with someone then tell them. Why could she have just told me that she wasn't alright, that she felt sad. I just wonder about grandparents. Current Mood: sad
|Tuesday, October 10th, 2006|
so I have some new picture of me fro mthe comvention enjoy
|Monday, October 9th, 2006|
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Guess i'm not that normal
THANK GOD normal is like so boring
So I know haven't posted in awhile.
Everythnig is going good Got to se Lexy two day in a row last week that was weird. But really nice we don't get to see each other all that much between our two schedules
So I work at an anime covention. Wore my kilt there.. I tell you I got told it was wird for me to wear it froa guy that was dress like sailor moon.
I hare chest hair like a dog. We called him Sailor beast.
I felt dirty just talk to him, why do people dress like that. I mean not wear a shirt in some place. like ren faries ok. Maybe he like wearing women cloths and thats fine I have some friends that are transvestites.
But this is a person who is discrinnatated buy others. You would think that he might not do it. but they do.
you know what they say bullies only bully to make up for their lack of self esteem. Current Mood: weird